Maternal Reflections

For all those who know, and feel, and strive, in spite of the newness of it all......motherhood.


A Snapchat shot, we both fake a smile

The camera’s gone and the mundane begins,

Mindless, repetitive tasks to be done.

Is this happiness?

Is this life?

 

With dishes piled high, I stare at the wall,

His crying starts and the cycle begins,

The dependence, his need, it won’t go away.

Is this happiness?

Is this life?

 

And nobody told me we would struggle this way, but this is reality, my journey to make.

 

Is there purpose today, do I bother to dress?

I am here all alone and the hours roll on,

Programmed exhaustion shapes the menu of my day.

Is this happiness?

Is this life?

 

Once an achiever, a purpose, a drive,

I’m reduced to a chaos that I battle each day,

An orderly schedule is a memory past.

Is this happiness?

Is this life?
 

And nobody told me we would struggle this way, but this is reality, my journey to make.

 

A moment of guilt, is there time for me?

Is it night, is it day, the to-do-list is nagging,

Lonely, overwhelmed, will it ever change?

Is this happiness?

Is this life?

 

And they tell me they love it, this motherly role.

I feel weepy again and my bones are so tired

As the negative wave washes over once more.

Is this happiness?

Is this life?

 

And nobody told me we would struggle this way, but this is reality, my journey to make.

 

The painful start is hard to bear,

Perfect visions, perfect life, we endeavour despite all,

Always grasping and striving, hoping to prove.

Is this happiness?

Is this life?

 

We have an ideal that we silently crave,

A barometer comparison that we frequently fail,

But determined we continue in an effort to fit,

Is this happiness?

Is this life?

 

And nobody told me we would struggle this way, but this is reality, my journey to make.

 

A saving moment, a helping hand

Bravely I surrender,

Honestly, vulnerably

I let it go

To find my truth,

My help,

My gauge,

My voice.

This is my journey, my learning, our new beginning.

 

We are not perfect and far from ideal

As mothers, we are newbies

Contradicting “screen law.”

Each human,

Each unique,

Thoughts of

Not good enough,

Not quite enough,

Not able enough, remember, this is all NEW.


 

Relinquish expectation, societal view,

Life students, we’re not born to this role.

Seek kindness,

Seek learning,

Seek support,

Seek care.

We are worthy,

We are learners

Doing our best with what we have.

 

Giving, loving, nurturing, MOTHERS.

Each awesome, incredible and brave,

Each connected and selfless,

We tirelessly battle,

AMAZING MOTHERS!

Yes, this is life, yes this is happiness!

 

 

 

 

 

 

A. May